Unexpected triggers - sometimes the least likely things trigger an emotion you don’t expect.

I wrote this a while ago and honestly didn’t plan to post it because it felt pretty self indulgent (and actually the act of writing my thoughts on my laptop was therapy in itself.)

But this weekend I’ve seen a lot of content from fellow CF mamas who have been commenting on the mental strain that CF sometimes poses and I think it’s important to normalise and share these moments with each other.

There are times when I am totally taken aback by some form of unexpected and often quite extreme emotion about CF. It is always when I least expect it. It can be something silly - maybe someone mentions the heel prick test in passing. Or maybe it’s the nursery photos that Arlo missed when he was admitted into hospital. Or perhaps something totally normal in day to day life that seemingly has no big connection to CF at all.

I think there’s so many things to process and think of - there’s rarely a moment to pause and reflect when you have a child with CF. So these moments come in unexpected waves.

The other day when I was a little triggered, I found myself feeling a whole lot better by just acknowledging it. I have a recurring trigger that I am aware of now and I just said to myself that I will feel this way when the trigger presents itself. I should start to expect it now rather than be surprised by it. I don’t need to explain it or rationalise it. I just need to allow myself to feel it and then it seems to become easier to overcome.

Emotions are weird. But they are what they are. Don’t let them own you by needing a reason for them or feeling like you shouldn’t feel a certain way.